However, tonight I feel it's more important to write a few things down. Things I don't want to forget. Though, I don't know how I ever could. They're probably small and insignificant to most but to me, today, they meant the. world.
A little background info. I have not yet shared this on my blog. I don't know why, maybe denial, maybe thinking the people that would care, already know....? I don't know.
Here's the thing, we're moving to...
If you're not sure just how you feel about this...you're feeling a mere fraction of how Aaron and I have been feeling. Emotionally, we're a wreck.
Now, let me clarify, I have nothing against Texas. Really. Well, two things...it's lack of snow caps and widespread adoration of country music. I'm not saying fields of wildflowers are ugly, nor am I saying that the kind folks that sing/listen/promote country music aren't people that deserve friends and loved ones...I just really, really REALLY love mountains (it might be a sickness)....and REALLY dislike country music. That's all.
Aaron and I have built a life here. It's only been 7.5 years. But all three of our kids have been/will be born here. We've made friends and memories and started traditions here. For both of us, this is home. (Aaron has said it himself, I'm not putting words in his mouth. Promise.)
We've had personal experiences, that have led us to this decision to move. We're confident that it's the right decision for our family. We've felt an urge to move for a while, we just didn't know where. Now that we do and it's getting closer and more real. It's a hard pill to swallow.
We are having a hard time focusing on the good that will come out of this move. We can't stop thinking of things we'll miss. For example:
*The MOUNTAINS! A lot of our traditions are mountain based, plus they're just pretty spectacular.
*Friends, family, our ward. This is the best ward we have ever been in. Ever. EVER.
*About a gazillion temples, within an hour of where we are.
*Kade's super duper best friend Christopher. (He keeps asking if Christopher can move with us.)
*Macey's. Not the department store.
*My business/clients. That we started from nothing and became successful.
I know, I know, we'll be able to be happy wherever we go. We'll make new friends, new clients, new traditions, blah blah blah... But the transition is still hard.
Now, on to my main point. You thought that was it, but it wasn't!
There's been stress. Aaron moves on Sunday. Yes, the Sunday that's three days away. I will be left alone, pregnant with two rather rambunctious boys. Don't feel bad for me, we chose it. I didn't want to find a new doctor just weeks before having a baby. So we chose for me to stay behind to have the baby. We feel good about the choice.
The stress is finding somewhere to live, without being there. Finding an area with good schools, good neighbors, etc. We've had lots of welcomed help with this stuff though, so that's been very nice!
We've also had a lot to get done around our house/yard before he goes.
Today, I decided to tackle the leaves in our yard. Kade was being helpful, trying to at least. Once Aaron finished a project he was working on in the house, he joined us too. My body was hurting. Everywhere. This hasn't been the easiest of my pregnancies. I'm more exhausted, more worn out, still sick....blah. But, knowing what little time we have left before Aaron moves I was determined to continue working. If you've seen our yard, you know, we have a lot of trees. We also have a lot of yard. This equals hours upon hours of raking. About an hour and a half into the job, two missionaries walked past our house on the opposite side of the street. We waved, said hello, and they continued on their way. I thought to myself, "I wish they'd have stopped to help. Can't they see I'm huge?" But then kept thinking..."Don't be selfish. They're busy, they have much more important work to do.
A half hour later, they pulled up to the curb. Dressed in more appropriate yard work clothing, rakes in hand. It took everything in me, not to burst into tears. They introduced themselves and got to work. I excused myself. I was in full blown tears before I got to the door.
I can count on one FINGER, how often we've seen the missionaries walking down our street, since we've lived here. Heavenly Father knew. He knew I needed help. I couldn't have been more grateful....or emotional. Geez.
We of course fed them, we're not savages. They shared a message with us and then they were on their way. Not only were those elders a huge help, they were a much needed break from our schedule and to-do lists. And a huge answer to lots of prayers!
